Thursday, March 26, 2009

Can you tell Mama is frustrated at lack of Internet?

Mama is so frustrated at lack of Internet access that she has decided to launch a silliest joke contest .... just for the sake of it really. In many ways, I'm not looking forward to growing old enough to figure out why - oh WHY - she is cracked up on the public library floor because of these silly jokes. Yes, she is really having hysterics on the library floor. And all because of this email she received:

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.The police are looking into it.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said:'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet writes in-verse.
21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes ..
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23. Don't join dangerous cults, practice safe sects.

So WHAT, prey tell, is so funny?


Abigail said...

LOL, some of those were pretty bad!! Great facial expressions Abigail!

mommytoalot said...

Gave me a few good chuckles.
Abby love to see your expression. You are an adorable little girl.
hugs hugs and more hugs

you gotta wonder said...


Shelley said...

Love Abigail's outfit! Here's one of my kids' favorites...
Kid 1: Knock, knock.
Kid 2: Who's there?
Kid 1: Nobody
Kid 2: Nobody who?
Kid 1: